You're My Girl

Some times, I have the privilege to come along side one of the gals and become their cheer leader within part of their journey. The other day, one of my grasshoppers called and shared a story that warmed my heart. Like many others during this time, she experienced incredible economic hardship. I have to admit that there were times that I was at a lost for words and I even questioned God and asked why He couldn’t move faster. That probably sounds a bit daring on my part, but if you have relationship, real relationship, you understand that it is not done out of disrespect – frustration perhaps but never disrespect.

What is it that puts you in that place where you can question but trust God at the same time? It’s relationship…not surfacey relationship…not rescue me…but the real deep I can’t live without you type of deal. It’s when you get to the place of - Even if it gets real bad, it’s gonna be okay as long as you’re with me. That’s Mia. There were times where things were ugly and she would always come back after one of her rants and say but I trust God…it will work together for good. And I would reply many times, I can’t wait until the day you give me the good news of the miracle that God has done in your life. I would take it further and assure her that one day I would…and I did.

When I heard the excited voice on the other line, I knew. I had a smile probably as big as Mia’s on my face. She recanted about her interviews but what caught my attention were three little words. It just echoed in my soul. Before she entered into her second round of interviews where she was going to be bombarded with tough questions by six executives, Mia had taken ill. She pleaded and was desperate to hear from God. Right before going in, she heard His voice clearly. “Let’s go in there and show them what a blessing you are to them. You’re my girl.” Immediately she felt peace and her spasms subsided.

What is it that moves the heart of God to say “You’re my girl?” I think it’s the same thing that moved Him when he said “This is my son with whom I am well pleased”.

Many of us feel that God can’t think of us in that way because we measure ourselves against our faults instead of His grace. But when you have relationship – true relationship – you can’t help but feel God smile upon you. You feel it each morning as you greet the creator of the universe. You feel it during the day through others. You feel it when you live your purpose daily. You can’t help but feel it as you say goodnight, grateful for another day.

“You’re my girl” reverberated in my soul. It reminds me that each day He celebrates me, even when I’m unaware. It reminds me that even when there is no rhyme or reason, when life sucks and things don’t go my way, I’m His girl. He didn’t say atta-girl or that’s-a-girl like some of my friends do. He made it very personal and said “You’re ‘my’ girl”.

I love intangible gifts. They seem to stay with you forever. This reminder is one of the best of them and the greatest gift for me is that I got to write about it. =)

Morning Echo

I am a morning person. Some in my family are not so it’s a bit hard for them because I can chatter, be loud and a bit on the quirky side. I have been accused of having way too much energy. I’m glad that God doesn’t mind all my energy. As a matter of fact, unlike some of the others in my family, He’s waiting for us to talk with an eagerness that surpasses mine.

I love to read but I have found that lately not everything keeps my attention. I often read 2-3 books at once but there is always one that will dominate the morning hours. I use that particular one as part of my quiet time. I fell in love with my morning book before I purchased it. My women’s group advised us of the next title they were going to use for bible study. I looked it up and knew it was a must have for our library.

Each morning I’m excited to read the next chapter and I savor each one. It’s no coincidence that the series my pastor preached included what my book talks about. I’ve gotten used

to how God speaks…that doesn’t mean I don’t doubt or question a bit too often.

My morning book is called “The Sacred Echo” by Margaret and she has a realistic, down-to-earth way of explaining how God speaks through echo. She refers to it as an echo because He often repeats himself several times; not for His benefit but for ours. We often hear clearly but are cautious and wonder if it’s our Jiminy Cricket. However, a lot of us have discovered that when God wants something, He’ll continue to nudge until you reach that AHA moment and concede with God.

Although God has echoed in my heart one specific topic that was undeniable, I just didn’t ‘get to it’ and this morning my echo was a blaring alarm that can’t be ignored. So I venture out to the known unknown. What does that mean? I know what I have been asked to do, and I trust God that He will do the rest.

Has your echo become a blaring alarm? It will, I promise you, if you hear but don’t give in to it…heart and soul.

The wind of shift is here. Gonna ride the wind....

When God Turned Off the Lights

Cecil is an inspiration to a lot of writers. I have the privilege of doing one of his blog tours on his latest book. I will be doing a review soon.

Author Award-winning writer Cecil Murphey is the author or co-author of more than 100 books, including the "New York Times" bestseller 90 Minutes in Heaven (with Don Piper) and Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story (with Dr. Ben Carson). He's also the author ofWhen Someone You Love Has Cancer andChristmas Miracles, both 2009 releases. Murphey's books have sold millions and have brought hope and encouragement to countless people around the world.

Is it possible that God would use a time of spiritual loneliness and isolation in our life as an answer to our prayer for "something more?" That's what happened with best-selling author Cecil Murphey. In When God Turned Off the Lights (Regal, September 2009), he openly shares from his journey that seemed to be stalled in darkness.

Murphey decided to write about his months of seeking God in the darkness because he suspected his situation wasn't unique. "If this happened to me, a rather ordinary believer, surely there are others out there who have wept in the isolated blackness of night and wondered if they would ever see God's smile again."

Murphey could have handled this topic as a theologian and given pages of heavy, hard-to-read advice, but he chose to write from his heart and expose it for the readers to see. He talks honestly and shares his skepticism and frustration. He asks hard questions. And he lays out the steps of healing that brought him back to the light.

When God Turned Off the Lights is a book for those of us who ask, "What's wrong with me? Why are others living in the sunlight while nothing but dark clouds and darkness envelop me?" Readers will learn:

• Why God turns off the lights
• Why we have to have dark nights
• Why asking "why" isn't the right question
• What's worse than going through the darkness
• How to feel worthwhile and accepted by God

Each chapter of When God Turned Off the Lights ends with an inspirational personal quote from Cec. Here's a sampling:

Although it may seem as if God is asleep when we go through deep darkness, could it be that God is most watchful in the moments of our despair?

Could it be that moving from why to whatmight take us one more step closer to the light?

Our task is to hang on. We wait until God takes us off hold and deals directly with us again.

God's provision is based on unconditional love - not on my faithfulness.

What to Do When the Lights Go Out

by Cec Murphey

If you sincerely desire to follow Jesus Christ, life won't always be easy. Many times the Bible promises victory, and you may need to remind yourself that there can be no victory without struggling and overcoming obstacles.

In my book, I used the image of God turning out the lights because that was how I perceived the situation. I felt as if I walked in darkness for 18 months. We all interact differently with God, and my experience won't be the same as yours. Even so, most serious Christians have times when God seems to turn away or stops listening. And we feel alone.

Perhaps it's like the time the Israelites cried out to God for many years because of the Egyptian oppression. "God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise...and knew it was time to act" (Exodus 2:24 NLT). God hadn't forgotten, of course, but from their perspective, that's how it must have seemed. It may seem like that to you if you're going through your own form of darkness.

Here are a few suggestions to help you:

1. Ask God this simple question: "Have I knocked out the lights by my failures? Have I sinned against you? After you ask the question, listen. Give God the opportunity to speak to you.

2. Don't see this as divine punishment (unless God shows you it is), but consider the silence an act of divine love to move you forward. This is God's method to teach you and stretch you.

3. Avoid asking why. You don't need reasons and explanations--and you probably won't get them anyway. Instead, remind yourself that this temporary darkness is to prepare you for greater light.

4. Say as little as possible to your friends. Most friends will want to "fix" you or heal you and they can't. They may offer advice (often not helpful) or make you feel worse ("Are you sure everything is right between you and God?").

5. Stay with the "means of grace." That is, don't neglect worship with other believers even if you feel empty. Read your Bible even if you can't find anything meaningful.

I chose to read Lamentations and Psalms (several times, especially Lamentations) because they expressed some of the pain and despair I felt.

6. If you don't have a daily prayer time, start one. Perhaps something as short as three minutes--and do it daily. Talk honestly to God. It's all right to get angry. (Read the Psalms if you're hesitant.)

7. Remind yourself, "I am in God's hands. This is where I belong and I'll stay in the blackout until I'm ready to move forward."

8. Pray these words daily: "But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults" (Psalm 19:12 TNIV). Some versions say "secret sins." These are failures and sins of which you may not yet be aware. One of the purposes of your darkness may be to bring those hidden problems to light.

9. Ask God, "What do you want me to learn from this experience?" You may not get an answer, but it's still a good question. Continue to ask--even after the lights go back on again. If you're open, you will learn more about yourself and also about God.

10. As you receive "light" about yourself while walking in darkness, remind yourself, God has always known and still loves me.

The Ungrateful Kid

The parents sat in the living room with their face in their hands. The silence and sadness hung thickly in the room. She looked up and asked, “Where did we go wrong”? He looked up and couldn’t reply.

The kid was born into a home where both parents worked. He lacked nothing. They always ensured that he had the latest everything, but for the past few years they noticed a pattern that deeply saddened them.

“Hey I bought you the sneakers you talked about the other day.” -- “Those weren’t the ones? What were you thinking?”

“Your mom straightened out your room and did it up nice. Remember to say thank you.” -- “Mumble”

“Try to be grateful for the car your dad got you.” – “Why should I? It’s used.”

“Remember, you need to share that with your sister.” – “I don’t understand why you can’t buy her one.”

“You should be happy that you get to go to school.” – “Grumble”

“Eat that. You know how many children are starving.” – “They wouldn’t eat this.”

Some of you are probably thinking this kid just needs a smack up side the head but how often are we just like him?

As I looked at the status of folks day after day, I began to become distressed. I had to ball my hands into fists so that I would not respond. I could not understand why. Then today, one of my girlfriends mentioned that the day was crappy. If you looked out the window, you would have probably agreed. It was a bit cold and rainy and not even officially Fall yet.

I balled up my hands but could no longer stand it. I decided to respond.

‘Any day you’re breathing is a gift’.

It wasn’t because of the memory of the day, but because the depth of my gratitude continues to run deep. I just didn’t realize how deep. I told God right after my response to her that I would have given anything to be able to sit on wet, cold bleachers any day to have watched my nephew play any sport. I guess that was the first thing that came to mind. It was then that it clicked. Why the statuses bothered me so much.

“Hey I gave you that job you wanted.” -- “It’s Monday again, back to the grind...uugghh”

“I made sure to make your job secure during these uncertain times.” -- “This is going to be a long week.”

“Did you notice the sunny beautiful days I gave you?” -- “We had no summer. This sucks. Can you believe that it’s raining again?!”

“You should be happy you have medical coverage.” -- “Can you believe I had to wait for XX for fill in the blank.”

“I can’t wait to see what you do with your life today.” -- “This day is crappy.”

We have so much to be grateful for, but we let complaints escape our mouths constantly. We get to go to work but complain while so many are out of jobs. We had a few days of sun but complain about the constant rain. When it got too warm, we complained about the heat. We go get medical attention, complain about the long wait while so many desperately need health care benefits. It became cold a bit early this year and we complain about that too. It sounds normal doesn’t it? Some of these even sound harmless.

Imagine the sadness of those parents when their teen did not know how to appreciate anything that was given to him. I cringed when I thought about how God felt when we do the same. Just like the teen, we take life, the gift of it for granted. Instead of being grateful with our mind, heart and mouth, we grumble, mumble and complain.

What will you choose going forward?

Phases

The other day my parents spent the weekend with me and I couldn’t help but notice how much they aged. It wasn’t that it wasn’t apparent, it’s just that I don’t get to see them as often and this was the first time we spent a weekend together in a couple of years. My mom and dad move slower and have a routine that took me by surprise.

I wanted to scream at both of them – YOU CAN’T GET OLD… but I know that this is the cycle that life makes us all go through. Even writing this makes me a little sad. Where is the young and vibrant couple that poured so much into me? I know they are in there somewhere because they continue to work diligently within the community just at a slower pace.

As we get older, we go through different phases in our lives. We are excited when we are about to go into college. When we graduate we’re excited about our new job. As life progresses we meet our partner. We become excited about the wedding and then there are babies. The one phase we try to shut out or keep tucked away is that of our parents aging. Somehow it sneaks up on us.

In this phase I’ve learned to appreciate my parents more than ever. I am blessed with a father that signifies wisdom. His picture should go next to the word wisdom in the dictionary. Okay he’s my dad I can say that. What a wonderful influence he has been over the years to all of us. My mother doesn’t trail behind. I often feel like I will never fill her shoes. Her dedication and love for others is like nothing I have ever seen. I have my own mother Theresa. I’m not kidding. Ask anyone who knows her.

Although this phase will probably usher into a phase I don’t want to dwell on, it is this one that I relish probably the most. We hear many more stories that they probably thought were inappropriate before. A lot of past hurts or misunderstandings were talked through. We laugh hysterically about the funny moments. We have lots of those! There is never a dull moment when the Humphreys clan gets together and my parents have the pleasure of seeing the results of their arduous labor both in and outside our home.

In this phase we kids get the pleasure to care and watch out for them. To thank them for all the great things they’ve done for us. We get to confide in them when no one but a parent understands and to listen even when we hate to. We know most of the time they’re right. They lived our lives almost three times over.

My siblings and our families have learned to embrace this phase and cherish it. Each of us shares with the other those special moments. Those memories are ingrained in our hearts forever. From my sentimental heart, I know that time will slip by and phases will continue. But until then, we’ll continue to make every moment a memory.

Getting By is Not Enough

Creativity never dies. It just gets stunted or tangled up when one doesn’t cultivate or nurture.

Outside my beautiful flower pots had become a tangled mess of live and dead flowers. As I began to separate them, I remembered the importance to prune. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the time to do that and it hurt the flowers in those pots.

As I began to untangle the flowers that became intertwined, I noticed several things that automatically translated into some life doings.

I had planted too many flowers in my large pots.

The nurseries recommend that you leave a few inches between each flower or plant. The reason they say this is because it gives the plant space to grow healthy, deep roots and flourish comfortably sideways.

• Sometimes we get so excited about different ventures that we take on way too much and do not slow down enough to ask ourselves if it enhances our current gifts or talents or hinders them. It gets further complicated because we tend not to learn any one thing well or let it take deep root and flourish correctly.
  

My flowers looked like they needed attention (badly).

Don’t get me wrong, I watered them almost everyday as needed. So they were getting the nutrition that they needed. However, water and fertilizer is not enough. A lot of flowers need to be pinched and pruned. This promotes the continuity of healthy growth. I neglected to do that although I knew I had to, and it was apparent by looking at them that they needed it.

• As we get older we learn that getting by is not enough. We understand that the investment of time and oneself is what ultimately brings desired results. If your life garden remains the same, it’s because you’re not doing enough to change it. Change is uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Sometimes it’s necessary to cut back or drop certain things, habits and people so that the manifestation of your gifts and talents can flourish.
  

Dead Weight

As I untangled the flowers, many fell out automatically because they were unable to establish good roots. There were some that had become so long they looked straggly. Some had very dried leaves although they continued to flower. As I began to cut and search for all the dead sections, I noticed that they had become a negative weight to the healthy ones in the pot. The unhealthy and dead flowers were detrimental to the live ones.

• Just because something worked a certain way in the past to bring good results doesn’t mean that it will necessarily work in the present. When you look at successful people, there is one trait that you’ll notice. They’re not afraid to try the same something a different way which means whatever didn’t work gets filed away and used only as a learning reference.

Where did all the flowers go?

I should be sad to report that my pots look pretty miserable right now and although it’s true, the pots look pretty pathetic, I know from experience that in a few short weeks, those pots will be filled with gorgeous healthy flowers. And…if that doesn’t work, I can always put new pretty ones in.

• Less for the most part is always more. One thing that maturity in age teaches you is that when you slow down, it provides you insight and perspective you cannot get when you’re in a constant blaze. You appreciate more therefore your output has quality and not necessarily quantity. Your craft becomes polished and achieves what it was destined for in the first place.

When I looked at the heap of dead flowers on the ground, I was reminded of one of my new friends and online business trainer who we affectionately call Tazy. He constantly reminds us the importance of learning something well and successfully before taking on what’s next.

Challenge yourself into growth today. Look at your life garden and see what needs to be pruned and pulled. Once you do, patiently nurture, cultivate and wait for growth. You may have to add new plants but that’s the beauty of the garden of life. We can always change what we want to see grow.

Lil b Vs. C

This morning when I was taking my daughter to school, I noticed a little bird, in hot pursuit of a crow at least 5-6x its size. She bumped him several times until he was out of her territory. The crow did not turn back and fight. As a matter of fact, he coward and was trying his best to get away from her. It was obvious she was a mama bird, as she returned to the location of where her nest must have been. If it was just for territory, I applaud her for her fearless display.

There was a lesson to be learned in what I just witnessed. The little bird often represents us. We often hover over our dreams and when the conviction runs deep, whenever a negative giant comes our way, we stand our ground. That negative giant can come in all forms but the most common one is through people. Reality is not everyone is going to share your same dream or vision. Some will be jealous. Others will think it impossible because of their negative lifestyle.

Negativity does not only come from people. It also comes from within. We let fear overtake us and let it become the driver of our actions. Fear always halts the progress of dreams. Another factor is perception. Perhaps you view yourself as less than and you were told you would never amount to anything. Don’t believe it. The expectation for you and I is greatness. In all things, we should strive for excellence. Don’t be afraid to be great. Too many times we settle in being recognized as good rather than the best. This, my friend, is not a lack of humility. It’s the endeavor to mirror God in all areas of life.

Learn to turn off the negative. Fiercely protect your dreams. Be fearless and relentless like the little bird. Be the best that you can be and don’t be afraid to chase those big, black negative lurkers from outside and within.

Recommended Reading: The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson